Child of Mine

Chicken nuggets and french fries, sugar cereal, goldfish crackers, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, macaroni and cheese...what do all of these foods have in common? They're beloved by toddlers and preschoolers and a guilt source of many parents. How do you get your young child to eat anything else? Especially something (gasp) green?

I recently finished Child of Mine:Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter. A friend had recommended this book, saying that this approach to feeding worked really well with her kids and she wished she had read it sooner. Those kind of recommendations almost always result in good knowledge gained.

The book is for parents, child care workers, grandparents, and anyone else who regularly feeds children. Satter's underlying principle is:

The parent is responsible for what, when, where.
The child is responsible for how much and whether.

The first part of the book goes over her main priniciple in depth and her philosophy on feeding. Basically, it is the job of the adult to provide a variety of nutritious foods, regular meals and snacks, a pleasant atmosphere with the family eating together and a relationship of love and trust. It's the child's job to eat. According to her theory, over several days to weeks, a child's body and need to grow will drive them to eat the foods that will provide the nutrients that they need. And if you follow this philosophy, eventually your child will eat well and eat the things you eat.

After the philosophical underpinnings are laid out, she goes chapter by chapter developmentally including chapters on: breastfeeding, formula feeding, first foods (6-12 months), toddlers (1-3 years) and preschoolers (3-5 years). I found this a useful format and most of her advice seemed right on with other feeding advice I've heard. But instead of making a parent feel panicky with the need to check off each part of the food pyramid, she offers real-world suggestions in an empathetic yet firm voice.

I found this book extremely helpful. I know I'm going to do things differently with my second child (who doesn't?). I wasn't very good about continuing to provide opportunities for my first child to eat things he didn't like at first. It seemed like a lot of work (and a waste of money) to make food that I ended up scraping into the garbage can. So his preferred food list is pretty small and typical of young kids. He does love fruit but won't touch vegetables. The good thing is he'll tolerate anything on his plate and even tries new things occasionally.


I decided, though, that I want to raise children who are less picky than I was. And I agree with Satter that unless the child is given opportunities to eat lots of different kinds of food then they'll probably not want to try new foods. I love her idea of the family table. I like that she doesn't advocate pushing kids to try new foods (mostly because it removes confrontation and tantrums from dinnertime). However, she advocates that you let kids eat as much of whatever food that they want (keeping in mind that as the adult you've given them the food). I feel like it's important to set some limits.


Her advice has steeled my resolve to be more structured about meals and snacks and not allowing grazing in between set feeding times. It's also encouraged me to be more well-rounded in what I prepare for myself (I don't really like a lot of vegetables either). It's also given me more backbone to say no to short-order cooking.


All in all, this book was helpful to me as a parent and such a good resource that I'm considering buying my own copy to keep on hand and lend out to friends.